


One Jump Man

by Tatsurou



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-02-14 14:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatsurou/pseuds/Tatsurou
Summary: Inspired by the Youtube video of the same name.In a desperate attempt to overcome his cowardly heart once and for all, Luigi goes to train under one who has conquered fear itself.  However, while he's gone, things take a turn for the worse in the Mushroom Kingdom.  Upon his return, Luigi will learn that all it takes to conquer fear - and that which causes it - is One Jump.





	1. Chapter 1

Luigi lay back on the grassy hill just outside the house he shared with his brother.  His green shirt and hat blended with the grass he lay against, only his blue overalls really marking him as distinct from the background of the Mushroom Kingdom grasslands.

Blending with the background...that was him, wasn’t it?  Not that he minded, really.  Mario was the one who really wanted to be a hero, who reveled in the adventure and danger of every time Bowser kidnapped Princess Peach...or whenever someone else showed up to do so and they had to fight them, or even team up with Bowser to save Peach only to then fight him.  Luigi would be just as happy to stay at home and take care of the house, so Mario would have somewhere safe and clean to relax in once the battle was over…

Stay at home...yes, Luigi would be  _ very _ happy to stay at home.  The dangers Mario reveled in...they terrified Luigi.  Each time they had to go into battle, he had to fight against the shakes, the shivers, and the heart stopping terror.  Mario always believed in him, of course, and always encouraged him.  That encouragement was often enough to help him overcome the fear - at least visibly - and he  _ had _ contributed to those struggles and victories.  But…

When Mario wasn’t able to support him, the fear was crippling.  That truly came to a head in Luigi’s mind in the BeanBean Kingdom, when the only way he’d been able to do what was necessary to save Mario from being turned into a bean had been being hypnotised into believing he  _ was _ Mario.  Mario was the hero.  Mario was the brave one.  Luigi?  He was the coward who just wanted to take care of the homestead, that’s what everyone knew.  ...well, everyone who actually knew his  _ name _ , anyway.  Even  _ Bowser _ really only knew him as ‘Green Mario’.

That didn’t bother him, though.  He didn’t want the spotlight.  He didn’t need fame.  But...he wanted to be able to support Mario more.  Mario was reckless and headstrong, convinced he was as invincible as if he had grabbed a Starman...or convinced he had 99 1-Ups.  He charged into danger without thought to his own safety...and that scared Luigi almost as much as going into the danger himself.

He pushed himself to join Mario on each terrifying journey...because what scared him far more than the journey was the thought that if he didn’t, one day a Toad would arrive at the house to tell him Mario wasn’t coming home…

“I...I don’ wanna hold Mario back anymore,” Luigi said to himself, closing his eyes as his moustache quivered.  “I don’ wanna be crippled by fear...don’ wanna be a coward…I…”  He opened his eyes, staring up at the nighttime sky.  A star streaked slowly across the sky, a shooting star waiting for a wish.

Sitting up, Luigi locked his eyes on the star.  “I don’ wanna be another Mario, my brother does a good enough job of that.  But...I don’ want fear ta cripple me no more.  I wanna be stronger, braver...I wanna be a better Luigi!”  With all his heart, he sent that wish up to the shooting star…

Which turned and shot back into space.

Luigi sighed, lowering his head.  “Yeah...even Star Road can’t grant that wish…”

“But maybe I can help.”

Luigi let out a shocked scream at the sound of that soft voice right behind him, dashing to hide behind the nearest tree.

A soft giggle started to ease his fears.  “Goodness, I see why you made such a wish…”

Curious, Luigi nervously poked his head out to see who had spoken.  Silver tiara, pale blonde hair, one bright blue eye visible in that pale face, floating in the long flowing blue dress…  Luigi let out a sigh of relief.  “Rosalina,” he gasped out as he walked back out onto the hill.  “You scared’a me…”

“So I see,” Rosalina murmured warmly, floating over to meet him.  “And I see why you wished so fervently my little Luma friend felt compelled to report it to me.”

Luigi tensed up, his eyes wide.  “Y...you know my wish?” he whimpered, shaking in embarrassment now.

Rosalina smiled warmly as she rested her hand on Luigi’s shoulder.  “There is no shame in wishing for self-improvement, Luigi,” she offered warmly.  “You have proven in the past to be capable of overcoming your fear when it most mattered, and other times with a little help.  All you’re asking for now is that help...to become strong enough to face it on your own.  You are asking for courage...and I can see that you  _ are _ courageous, that you can face this side of yourself, and conquer it when needed.”

Luigi smiled warmly, though he ducked his head to hide his blush.  “Aww...I’ma not so great…”

“Maybe others do not see the greatness in you, but I do,” Rosalina replied warmly.  “And I know Mario does as well.  Why else would he accept no one else to have his back in true adversity?”

Luigi’s smile faded.  “I...I just wish he didn’ have to kick me in the heart ta get me goin’, ya know?”

“And as I said, I think I can help with that.”

Luigi’s head came up.  “Ya...ya mean ya can help me be braver?” he gasped eagerly, clutching his fists together in front of his rather slim chest.

Rosalina lifted a warning hand.  “Not exactly.  I, myself, can’t do anything for you...but I know of an individual who has truly conquered fear, to the point that nothing can stand against him.  A hero like no other...and yet, one who in his own way is much like you, Luigi.  In his quest for strength, he lost something...but I believe with his guidance, you can gain the courage you need, and not lose yourself.  The journey will be perilous, and time consuming...but I believe you have it in you to overcome, if it is your desire.”

Luigi turned this over in his mind.  To go off to meet this stranger and train for who knew how long…  He didn’t want to leave his brother alone for that long, but...but to be more than he was now…

“Just let me leave a note for Mario!” Luigi said urgently as he dashed back into the house, where Mario’s snores gently filled the domicile.

Rosalina giggled softly to herself.  “There is greatness in you, Luigi...and I know you will overcome what awaits you.”

Luigi raced back out of the house with a smile.  “I’ma ready to go!” he declared happily.

“Then let’s go,” Rosalina replied warmly as she waved her wand, wrapping them both in starlight before whisking themselves off to their destination.

On the table inside, the note waited for Mario to read it.

_ Dear Brother, _

_ Rosalina’s taking me on a training journey, so I won’t be so scared all the time!  I might be gone for a while, but I know you can take care of yourself.  There’s a pot of pasta sauce in the fridge, it should last several days of mushroom pasta, the shopping list is under the Blue Shell fridge magnet, and coupons are in the second drawer to the left of the stovetop.  Oh, and we use Bright Shell laundry detergent, not Shroom Clean. _

_ Take care of yourself, Bro _

_ Love, Luigi. _

* * *

As the starlight faded, Luigi found himself standing in front of an incredibly dilapidated apartment, in the middle of an apartment building that looked to be in even worse condition, amidst a city that looked like it had been through so many wars the residents had stopped trying to clean up between them because they’d only  _ just _ finish cleaning up after one when the next one hit.  “Mamma mia…” Luigi murmured in fearful awe as he tried  _ not _ to look at the dark alleys, the crushed cars...or what he was certain were bloodstains.  “What’a happened here?”

“Probably just about everything you could imagine, and a good dozen things you’d never dream of,” Rosalina replied.  Then she frowned as she checked the stars.  “Wait, it’s Tuesday.  Make that two dozen.”  Seeing Luigi looking ready to bolt, she rested a hand on his shoulder.  “Remember, you’re trying to conquer fear.  If you can manage to live a day facing the fears this place will confront you with without running and hiding, what fear will the Kingdoms back home have left to confront you with?”

Luigi swallowed nervously.  “I...I understand…” he managed to say.  “Is...is the one I’m here to see…?”

“He’s probably the most terrifying being to ever walk these streets,” Rosalina answered firmly.  “Those that know his true nature are wise to run and hide when his temper awakens.  There is nothing in this or any world I have seen that he could not conquer.  Under his tutelage, you are certain to conquer fear itself…”  Seeing Luigi now looking ready to faint dead away, she hid a smile as she knocked on the door.

After a time, the door opened...and Luigi found himself looking at a slimly-built bald man wearing white socks, blue jeans, and a red and grey sweatshirt with ‘Oppai’ written on the front in yellow, with what looked to Luigi like half-closed eyes underneath it, also in yellow.  “Yo?” the man greeted in a dull, uninterested monotone.  “What do you want?”

Luigi managed to get his breath back as he clutched at his chest.  This man didn’t seem so scary…

“We have come a great distance,” Rosalina offered warmly.  “My companion has great inner strength, but finds himself crippled by fear far more than he wishes.  I had hoped you might train him, so that he could conquer that fear and be the hero he is capable of being.”

The man scratched his bald head.  “I dunno...I’ve kinda already got an apprentice…”

“I will pay you five three-ounce solid-gold coins per day,” Rosalina countered.

“You’ll have to buy your own futon, I’m all out,” the man responded immediately.

“I can provide him one,” Rosalina replied warmly, waving her wand to conjure one into Luigi’s arms.  She then handed over 150 Mushroom Kingdom coins.  “First month in advance,” she said warmly.  “I suggest getting the money changed once a day, just to keep prices from collapsing.  After the first month, five will arrive each day in your mail, whether you get mail that day or not.”

The man whistled as he examined the coins.  “Nice.”  He then turned to Luigi.  “Well, come on!” he insisted, beckoning him in.  “Let’s find you a spot.”

Seeing Rosalina nodding encouragingly, Luigi followed the bald man inside.  “T-thank you for taking me on!” he insisted eagerly.  “I...I hope I don’t dissapoint…”

“You’re determined to try,” the man replied readily.  “That alone is the makings of a hero.  I’ll just see if you can be one on your own.”

Luigi shivered, half in excitement and half in fear.  “And...who are you?  I’m Luigi!”

The man smiled.  “Me?  ...I’m just a guy who’s a hero for fun…”


	2. Chapter 2

Luigi puffed for breath as he raced along the roads of the city Rosalina had brought him to, ignoring the tall buildings that rose so far above his head it made Mushroom Castle look like a hovel.  He’d learned a few things since his arrival that he’d dedicated to memory.  His host was named Saitama, and was apparently always relatively strapped for cash, a problem Rosalina’s proposed payment had neatly solved.  Saitama was an Official Hero, whatever that meant.  He also knew this was Z City, considered to be one stepped removed from hell itself by everyone who didn’t live there, as anyone who actually lived there - save Saitama himself - was of the opinion people had an easier time taking care of themselves in hell.

None of this was really important to Luigi, except for the parts that told him exactly why Rosalina felt him managing to just  _ survive _ here would leave nothing to truly frighten him in the Mushroom Kingdom.  He’d already seen numerous insane things roaming the streets that he’d fled from during his training, only for Saitama to step in and casually reduce the monstrosities to bloody smears, not even seeming to be aware he’d just fought something...or just killed something.  The first time Luigi had seen it, he’d evacuated his lunch into the nearest garbage can.  The most recent time he’d seen it, his only reaction had been to make sure nothing had gotten on his clothes because gore stink plus training sweat plus sun heat would put him off his dinner.

And he’d only been here a week.  He already found himself checking himself over in the mirror, just to be certain it was still him there.  The first time, Saitama had said he would get used to it.  He hadn’t realized how quickly he would.

Then there was the training itself.  Running, push ups, sit ups, pull ups...it seemed like very basic training to Luigi, the sort of thing he kept trying to get Mario to do to get to a healthier weight.  As fit as the brothers were, Mario tended towards the chubby, and while that was good for jump damage it wasn’t good for his heart...or other organs, for that matter.

Luigi didn’t question the training to overcome fear itself being such basic training.  After all, the sort of things that would leap out of alleyways in the midst of training made it all the more intense on its own, without wondering why the training itself wasn’t more intense.

Even as he ran today, though, Luigi kept looking around worriedly.  Saitama had said he’d be going shopping while Luigi was training today, which meant he wouldn’t necessarily be able to step in to help him if he found himself in danger.  He would have to-

“ _ WOOOAAARUUUGHHH! _ ”

Luigi leapt and let out a scream of fear as he heard that noise.  Turning around, he saw a creature that was half-flesh, half-machine, and all ugly charging towards him on wheels as a mouth opened wide to reveal gnashing teeth.  Luigi desperately raced ahead, trying to escape the creature.

Up above on a nearby building, a blonde cyborg shifted, preparing himself for combat...only for a red glove to grip his shoulder.  “Sensei?” he asked in surprise.

“Leave him to it, Genos,” Saitama said softly as he watched with his usual bland grin.  “He can handle it.”

“Are you certain?” Genos asked worriedly.  “You’ve only trained him for a week, and he’s only human.”

“It’s Luigi,” Saitama replied readily.  “He’s been handling things like this for years, and this one’s just a small fry.  It’s only how much more terrifying it  _ looks _ that’s giving him problems.  He’ll show his stuff soon enough…”  His eyes gleamed, showing...interest.

Luigi continued to run, unaware of the discussion above him.  He desperately tried to think past his fear.  He had to figure out how to make this thing stop moving so he could get away, or do enough damage to make it stand down.  But how could he make a half-metal, half-flesh-

Half-metal.

Before he was even consciously aware of what he was doing, he lowered his body to smooth his running plane as he cupped his hands together under his chest.  Electrical energy gathered as he focused on the Thunderhand technique.  He’d managed to do quite a bit with it, but always with his brother’s help.   _ Well, it’sa time I jumped on my own two feet! _ he thought silently to himself.

Spotting a telephone pole, he saw his chance.  Racing forward, he leapt into the air before kicking off the pole halfway up its height.  As the monstrosity raced below him, Luigi launched the large sphere of electrical energy he’d gathered down just like when he and Mario used the Thunder Bros technique.  The creature roared in pain as it slammed into the pole, causing it to fall towards Luigi to surround him with sparking wires.

Charging the Thunderhand again, Luigi used that to shield him as he grabbed the sparking wires.  The electricity running along the wires sent them spinning rapidly around the fallen pole as he let out a terrified scream...releasing at just the right moment to slam feet first into the creature’s head at top speed, driving it into the ground.

Luigi leapt free, staggering a bit as he checked the creature over, hoping it would be down for the count.  He felt fear surge through him as it slowly got back up, but he desperately held his ground, braced for combat.

The creature took one look at him and raced off in the other direction.  Luigi let out a sigh of relief as soon as it was out of sight.

“Not bad.”

Luigi let out another scream of terror as he leapt into the air, spinning to find Saitama standing there, grinning widely.  “Don’ta do that!” Luigi gasped out as he patted his chest.

“You didn’t take it down, but you faced it down and scared it off,” Saitama continued.  “Not bad at all for your first solo challenge.”  He then gestured to the metal man beside him.  “This is Genos, my other student.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Luigi,” Genos greeted with a bow.  Confused, Luigi bowed back.

“From now on, in addition to your regular training, he’ll be your sparring partner,” Saitama explained.

“I look forward to testing myself against you,” Genos added fervently.

“...Mama Miia…” Luigi groaned, slumping back onto the ground.

“You still have another third of a mile to run,” Saitama pointed out.

“Right!” Luigi confirmed as he leapt back to his feet and got back to running.

* * *

Black.  Purple.  Unnatural Blue.  Unhealthy white.

These were the colors that swirled together in the pool of negative energy, like an inverted photograph melted off its frame.  The energy focused in the pool writhed and swirled, struggling to take shape...but there wasn’t enough substance left in the pool for the many shattered soul fragments within to form anymore.  All that was left was rage, pain, sorrow...and vengeful desire.  Each soul fragment was focused on a single being as the focus of its fury, that single focus binding the fragments together as they struggled to form.

A figure in shadows stared at the pool as it sat in a capsule.  “So...what is it, exactly?” he asked as he stroked his chin.

“A wellspring of dark power, hatred, and soul fragments,” another, higher pitched voice responded.  “None of the fragments are from the same soul...and they seem focused on a single individual.”

“Hmm...put some magic in it,” the first voice, much deeper and more powerful, instructed.  A deep guffaw echoed in the shadows.  “It’ll be fun to experiment-”

_ Fun _

_ “Just a guy...hero for fun…” _

The wellspring writhed and thrashed, shaking the capsule and struggling to break free to unleash its rage, sending the capsule bouncing off its braced location to fall towards the ground.

A massive orange clawed hand caught the capsule before it could break.  “Well, aren’t you angry,” the voice murmured wickedly.  “Well, we’ll see what use that anger can go to…”  Flames briefly illuminated the shadows, and glowing eyes stared down at the capsule...containing an unquiet mass grave.


	3. Chapter 3

Luigi flipped out of the way as Genos charged him again, the flames shooting out behind the cyborg giving him the speed to close distances rapidly, though at a trade-off of turning speed.  Luigi knew intellectually that he didn’t  _ need _ to leap so far out of the way to dodge his blonde opponent’s charges, that a well timed simple sidestep would be enough...but he wasn’t confident enough in his abilities and timing yet to attempt it.  Besides, he was pretty sure he wasn’t completely fireproof, and the exhaust flames were quite hot.

It had been several months of training now.  The occasional monster still showed up during his training runs - which Saitama no longer oversaw - and Luigi had been able to repel them rather easily after that first time.  While he still fled from each initial approach, his mind was no longer paralyzed by fear as he did so.  He was learning not only to live with his fear, but use it as a weapon as much as he did his green fireballs, the Thunderhand, or his well worn boots.  He could feel it pulse inside him, a power waiting to be used, but he would wait until he was certain he was in control before he ever tried to use it again.  The dance...it still frightened him, especially because he had no memory of where he learned the technique.  He just...knew it one day, a way to unleash the fear and the shadows inside him, to invert the world around him in darkness…

He ducked down as Genos attempted another charging punch, this time unleashing his super jump uppercut right into the cyborg’s chin rather than dodging the charge.  The twisting air around Luigi’s clenched fist caused continuous damage as he sent his foe flying upward, but Genos recovered quickly to enter close-quarters hand-to-hand.

Luigi had trouble adapting to this side of combat, as his main fighting style was mostly focused on kicks, jumps, or hammers.  However, he’d been adapting.  Clenching both hands into almost fists, he gathered energy to either side of him as he swayed back and forth to evade the blows as he waited for Genos to make a mistake or push too hard.

There it was.  He’d extended his exhaust tubes from his arm a little too long, trying to use the flames to make the punch fast enough to hit.  Luigi’s left hand shot up and he gripped the extended arm, discharging his gathered green fire into the limb.

Genos hissed in more shock than pain as he pulled back, pushing his own fire through the tubes to undo the damage.  By the time he’d recovered, Luigi had already taken to his heels into part of the canyon they were fighting in that was a maze of rocks, boulders, and tunnels through the stone walls.  There were only two directions the fight would go now.  Either Genos would try to track him through the maze which would let Luigi get the drop on him as Genos was forced to slow down, or-

The sound of turbines priming.  The scent of accelerant.  The sudden wash of heat.

Luigi shot out of the chimney formation within the maze just as Genos dedicated himself to unleashing the wave of flames that would flood the maze to burn Luigi out.  As he flew threw the air, Luigi spun and threw the sphere of electricity he’d gathered in his other hand.  Seeing it coming, Genos disengaged himself from the flame maneuver as fast as he could, just barely dodging out of the way before the sphere would have hit him.  It instead hit the ground, exploding into a massive sphere that Genos just barely kept ahead of-

Only to go down as Luigi impacted the top of his head with both feet, springing off to flip into a stuck landing.

“Stop!”

Both Luigi and Genos froze as they heard that voice.  Looking up, they saw Saitama approaching.  “Sensei,” Genos spoke up as he started to push himself up, blinking as he saw a white-gloved hand extended towards him.  Looking up, he saw Luigi grinning down at him from under his moustache.  “Thanks, Genos offered as he accepted the hand up, amazed at just how strong Luigi had gotten so quickly, that helping someone who was more than 90% machine and who easily weighed several hundred pounds to their feet left him showing no signs of strain.

“Not bad, both of you,” Saitama said as he approached.  “Genos, you’re learning your limitations a bit better, and you switched off your overburn attack faster than normal, so you’re learning to be more versatile.  Luigi, the same is true of you.  I don’t think I’ve seen you charge flame and lightning into your hands at the same time before.”  He then frowned at them both.  “But you’ve both got a lot to learn.  Genos, you’re still leaving yourself open with your charges.  And Luigi, you need to practice hand-to-hand more.  What if you had to fight someone at sparring range you couldn’t damage with fire or thunder?”

Genos and Luigi both nodded their acceptance of praise and criticism alike.

Saitama then smiled.  “But you’re both doing better.  Let’s go get dinner.  Luigi, I think you’re ready to try out for the Hero Association to see where you get ranked.  Then you can start taking on monsters for further training.”

“Oh how wonderful,” Luigi offered, his normally happy voice barely managing to hide his sarcasm as he rolled his eyes.

“How about you choose dinner tonight, Luigi?” Genos offered happily.  “To celebrate this milestone.  My treat.”

“We’re getting Italian!” Luigi declared happily.  “Ramen’s nice and all, but I’ma craving some  _ real _ pasta!”  Saitama and Genos both chuckled as Luigi bounced ahead excitedly, observing how Luigi didn’t realize that he was leaping nearly twice as high as he had been when he arrived.

* * *

Inside the capsule, the strange liquid was starting to take shape.  The magic being poured into it at the dark King’s instruction was fueled on hate, pride, and blood.  The first two the soul fragments all had in common, and the third had been added to the liquid to stabilize it.  Slowly it was taking shape.

The focus of the hatred of each fragment...the one who had so callously destroyed them, treating them as simple obstacles, and erasing all they stood for.

_ Just a guy...for fun… _

The emotions remained focused on the one who had destroyed them...and as rage, pride, and blood mixed with dark magic, that focus gave the pool shape.  Slowly a figure emerged, a figure of negative colors and soul fragments, slowly but surely taking the shape that would give them vengeance.

Slowly they chose...to have  _ fun... _


	4. Chapter 4

Luigi found himself absolutely calm as he prepared for the tests for the Hero Association.  Both Saitama and Genos had made it clear to him that the tests would include basic physical fitness tests and a written test, and not actually involve any true fighting.  He’d be demonstrating his abilities, and that would be that.  Between Saitama’s physical training, sparring with Genos, and having Genos tutor him on local laws and the regulations of said Association - the things the written test would be about - Luigi was confident he would give a good showing to make his teachers proud.

More than that, though, Luigi didn’t have anything to prove.  He was never the sort to put himself forward for glory or praise, and a permanent role as a Hero in this world was not one of his long term goals.  If he did well, it would make his teachers proud.  If he did poorly, it would in no way affect his judgement of himself, nor his long term plans.  Nothing of any importance hung in the balance on the outcome of these tests.  He would not coast through without trying...but nor would he stress himself out over the outcome.

As a result, he walked into the nearest testing facility with absolute calm, smiling and waving at the other hero-hopefuls testing there with him.  To his surprise, this resulted in many of them giving him a wide berth, and the instructors looking at him with interest.  He felt nervousness starting to build at that, but reminded himself of what he’d been told.  No one would actually try to hurt him here.  This was only about testing his limits.

With that in mind, he straightened his green cap and tugged at the straps of his new blue overalls.  He’d torn both shirt and overalls getting dressed today, but Rosalina had appeared to provide him with new ones that wouldn’t tear.  ...Luigi wasn’t sure why she was blushing so much while it was happening, though, and Saitama and Genos refused to comment on that other than chuckling.

Still, the new clothes fit him like a glove - especially the gloves, which Rosalina had specially made to repel blood and gore - and he felt more than ready to take on whatever a test could throw at him.

* * *

Luigi sat calmly in the orientation classroom with his results envelope on the desk in front of him, the top opened.  He’d only opened it enough to see that he had been accepted as an official Hero.  He hadn’t looked any further than that, wanting to keep that information for when he could meet up with Saitama and Genos to reveal what Class of Hero he’d become.

He’d reviewed the Classes, of course.  C-Class was the lowest, and thus had the most restrictions and the fewest benefits, and had a hero-work quota to stay in the Association.  B-Class were pretty much the same as C-Class, but had contributed enough - or had gotten a good enough reputation - that they were considered of some value to the Association, and thus did not have a hero-work quota.  A-Class heroes were the ‘face’ of the Association, and were carefully selected in terms of their power, their capabilities in terms of combat, and their ability to represent the Association...at least, that’s what Luigi had interpreted from what he’d seen of Sweet Mask, the number one A-Class hero.

S-Class heroes were basically physical gods, as far as the Association - and much of the public - were concerned.  They were only fielded to deal with opponents that required that level of power to deal with, as lesser foes would result in far more collateral damage than was warranted.  Luigi privately thought of this class as the ‘kaiju threshold’, and had been amazed and honored when he learned that Genos was S-Class...though he was left wondering why Saitama was only a B-Class.  Surely he was on the ‘kaiju threshold’ given what Luigi had seen of his strength.

...and if he wasn’t, it left Luigi terrified about what  _ did _ qualify for that.

To his surprise, Genos stepped into the classroom.  “I was asked to do the orientation for the new heroes here,” Genos explained calmly.  “I was going to refuse at first, until I’d learned that you had been accepted Luigi.  Congratulations.”

Luigi got to his feet with a smile.  “Thank you, Genos!” he replied happily.  “I hope I did’a you proud!”

“What rank have you been assigned?” Genos inquired curiously.  “I sincerely doubt if the physical or written tests proved any sort of challenge for you.”

Luigi rubbed the back of his head nervously.  “Well, they weren’t that bad...but I haven’t checked yet.  I didn’t wanna look until I could show you and Sensei.”  Over time sparring with Genos, he’d taken to using Genos’ form of reference for Saitama.  It made him feel closer to the blonde cyborg, and a little happy reminder that the Hero considered him a friend.

“Well, certain parts of the orientation lecture are Class specific,” Genos explained, “and as you’re the only Hero to qualify here this time around, it would save time if we were to know which part of the lecture I need to give you.  Sensei has promised dinner at an all you can eat pasta restaurant to celebrate you getting into the Association, and we shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Alright,” Luigi allowed.  Reaching into the envelope, he slowly pulled out the sheet of paper, reading from the top to see all the information.  “Congratulations on being accepted into the Hero Association,” he read aloud, revelling in it since Genos seemed so pleased with him.  “Hero Green Mario-”

“Green Mario?” Genos asked in surprise.

Luigi shrugged.  “It’s the name I asked to be registered under, unless ah got a nickname from fans,” he explained.  “Couldn’t really think of any other nicknames I had back home.”  In truth, he’d asked for it to remind himself why he was doing this.  He wasn’t out for fame or for personal glory.  He was out to better himself, so he could be more of a help to his brother.  This wasn’t for himself, it was for Mario.  And that was more than enough for him.  He pulled the paper out further, seeing the rest of the paper for the first time.  The curve of the letter appeared first…

Luigi stared at what had been stamped there, fear slowly filling him as he realized what awaited him now.  He began to shake all over as he read what to him was a death sentence, a promise of battles to come he would  _ not _ be up to handling, of battles that weren’t even what he was training for.  “M-m-mama mia…” he stammered out as he dropped the paper, staring at the Rank he’d been assigned.

S-18.

Confused, Genos walked over to the desk to see what was wrong.  “S-Class?  It seems you pulled off what I did as well,” Genos offered warmly.  “Congratu-”  He stopped himself as he took in Luigi’s shakes, reminding himself what Luigi had come here to accomplish.  To train to conquer his fear...and now fears he’d never imagined before coming here gripped him.  Genos rested his hand on Luigi’s shoulder.  “It’s alright, Luigi,” he offered warmly.  “It’s going to be alright.  Since it’s in the records that you trained with me, you’ll likely be assigned with me any time S-Class heroes are called in until you’re adjusted, and they have a better sense of how you handle combat.  Trust in yourself and Sensei’s teachings, and you’ll be alright.”

Luigi took a few calming breaths.  “I...I suppose you’re right,” he managed to say.  “I mean...I’ve fought Bowser before when he goes gigantic...or when he’s a gigantic skeleton.  What could be worse than that?”

* * *

“Is it ready yet?” the shadowed figure demanded cruelly.

“Almost, your Horridness!” a fawning, toady voice responded.  “The amalgamation has finally stabilize to a form...though it’s not yet at full power.  We will be able to open the capsule and speak to the being, now that it has chosen a face.  Then we will be able to speak to it-”

The creature inside the capsule lashed forward, shattering the glass as its glowing form landed lightly on its feet, staring dispassionately at the figures before it.

“Muahahahahaha!” the shadowed figure laughed as it shifted to stare the beast down.  “You like surprises, I see.  So do I.  And with you under my command, finally that blasted Princess will-”

“Stop!” the amalgam being interrupted, holding up one hand.  It’s body continued to glow in inverted colors, and its voice echoed oddly as though composed of the negative elements of audible sound.  “No long winded speeches.  20 words or less.”

The shadowed figure blinked in surprise, then turned to the subservient being he’d been speaking to before.  “How strong did you say it was again?” he whispered.

“We can’t get an accurate measure, your Awfelness,” the lacky responded quickly.  “But with the amount of magic it took to stabilize...just now it might be a good idea to go along until it agrees to cooperate.”

“Hrrmmm…”  The shadowed figure crossed massive arms.  It plainly didn’t  _ like _ letting someone else dictate the conversation, but he also was uncertain about this new being’s power.  It turned to the being.  “I stabilize you-”  It stopped, and turned back to the lacky.  “Is stabilize two words or three?”

“One, sire.”

“Right.”  He turned back to the being.  “I stabilize you.  You repay me.  Help conquer kingdoms, capture princesses, rule world!”  He looked questioningly towards his lacky.

“Thirteen, your worshipfulness.”

Nodding, the beast raised its hands, causing the lights to come on and reveal his form.  “I am Bowser, King of the Koopas!” he declared with a roar, blasting fire to the ceiling from his mouth to add to his majesty.

The amalgam being looked at Bowser for a time, then nodded.  “Okay.”

“So...does that mean you’ll work for me?” Bowser asked, wanting clarification.

“Sure.”

“Yes!” Bowser declared, laughing maniacally as he braced his massive clawed hands on his hips.  “With you at my side, no wanna-be hero or color coded plumbers will be able to stand in my way, uh…”  He crossed his arms.  “Who are you, anyway?”

“Me?” the being asked incuriously.  “Nobody special.”  An odd, unsettling grin crossed the bland face.  “I’m just a guy who’s a villain for fun…”


	5. Chapter 5

_“What could be worse than that?”_

“I just’a had to ask…” Luigi grumbled to himself as he crouched behind a large pile of rubble as a blast of lightning arced over the area, tearing apart buildings and knocking heroes from the ground and sky alike.  This particular villain had shown up out of nowhere and screeched something far too fast for anyone to hear before he - it was assumed the being was male based on perceived body shape - had begun to blast indiscriminately at anything around him, plainly seeking to cause as much damage as possible and specifically targeting anything that accessed the internet...which apparently was just about everything.  At first, B and A Class heroes in the area had attempted to deal with him, but they had promptly been blasted away, and so S Class heroes had been called in to provide backup and take the creature down. Luigi and Genos had paused long enough to get a briefing, but nothing was known...until Genos had listened to the recording of what the creature had said. Genos had...not translated what was said, but he had looked _very_ awkward and uncomfortable as a result.  “So what are we’a fighting, anyway?” he demanded Genos in confusion.

“It calls itself Web Soul,” Genos explained calmly, “and…”  He coughed awkwardly. “He was apparently born in the internet and...traumatized and enraged by human usage of it to the point he has burst free to eradicate human ability to use the internet so he can purify his home...or just eradicate humanity, whichever is easier.”

Luigi blinked in confusion.  “What could’a be so bad on the net to make him wanna do that?”

Genos stared at Luigi in disbelief for a time, then finally sighed.  “For your sake, I hope you never find out,” he avowed firmly. 

“Well for now-” Luigi began, only to duck as another blast from Web Soul ripped a building in half, sending down a rain of rubble...that froze in midair surrounded by green energy.  “Huh?”

“Looks like we have backup,” Genos stated calmly as he pointed to where a figure could be seen beneath the building that had been broken in half.  A very young seeming woman hovered in midair, surrounded by green energy as she glared contemptuously up at Web Soul. She had emerald eyes, short green hair that curled up at the tips, and wore a form-fitting black dress with four slits from the waist down, showing off her legs and low heels.

As Luigi watched, the young woman smirked as she sent the rubble flying at Web Soul, only for it to pass right through him as he reshaped around it.  He unleashed another high-speed screech of words as he danced around out of the grip of the green energy that took shape.

“...we should be glad she couldn’t understand that,” Genos murmured softly as he coughed awkwardly.  “That would have definitely set off her temper.”

“Why would that-” Luigi began, only to freeze as he saw Web Soul unleash another blast of lightning.  The green-haired woman smirked contemptuously, and the green energy wrapped around the blast...only to have no effect.  Her eyes widened in shock. Luigi saw things move slowly as she started to move to dodge the blast, too little too late-

Genos stared in shock as the air tore around him in a whirlwind that made Speed-o-Sound Sonic look like a snail by comparison.  One moment, Luigi had been watching the blast of lightning making its way towards Tatsumaki. The next, the ground between where he’d been and Tatsumaki was torn upwards by the shockwave and he stood between her and the blast, the lightning striking his right hand as he charged it with his Thunderhand technique, managing to keep the energies from racing through and overwhelming his body.  “...this might be bad…” he murmured to himself as he watched.

* * *

 

Tatsumaki stared in shock at the well-muscled figure that had appeared between her and the blast that had been about to hit her.  It wasn’t someone leaping to her defense that left her so shocked, as that would normally just make her pissed at someone thinking she needed protection.  It also wasn’t seeing someone so well muscled so close to her, as she’d seen that before...though never quite this close, as she usually ensured any muscle-heads kept their distance.  It also wasn’t him seeming to absorb the blast that nearly hit her, as she’d seen things like that happen before too.

No, what had her in shock was that the psychic barrier she’d raised at the last moment to try and block the blast - one strong enough to send other S Class heroes flying - was parting around him like water before a stone.  She hadn’t been certain it would deflect the lightning since she hadn’t been able to grasp the energy, but it _should_ have protected her from the force of the explosion if she’d managed to raise the ground to block as well...but this man had simply appeared within it, slipping in so smoothly she hadn’t even felt it.   _No one_ had ever been able to get this close to her without her knowing or sensing it ahead of time before.  Even that bald fool set off her senses, even if she couldn’t easily stop him (not that she’d ever admit that).

“You alright, miss?” the strange man asked worriedly, his voice and eyes full of warm concern.

Tatsumaki stared up into those bright, kind blue eyes, that honest face, that bushy mustache…  She quickly looked away to focus on the enemy before he could see her blush. “I’m fine,” she insisted firmly as she floated up to where she had more maneuvering room.  “I can handle this guy easily.”

Web Soul let out another rapid screech of speech, gesturing at Tatsumaki and the green-clad stranger in a manner that the esper instinctively found upsetting.  Before she could react, however, a green fireball had slammed into Web Soul, causing him to let out a shriek of surprised pain.

“I don’a need to know what you said to know ya _don’t_ talk that way to a lady!” the green-clad hero stated firmly, his mustache bristling in anger as his bright blue eyes paled to almost steel gray from his rage, flashes of light within giving the impression of a thunderstorm behind his pupils.

“So that’s why I couldn’t grasp him or the lightning,” Tatsumaki growled as she focused her energy differently, trying to distract herself from this new combatant.  “I was trying to freeze him, but he’s vulnerable to heat-” She stared in shock as the green-clad figure leapt forward.

Web Soul snarled angrily and unleashed a massive blast straight at his attacker...but the figure caught the lightning in one hand and drew it into his body as he flew straight for Web Soul.  Before the energy being could react, the new hero’s hands were surrounded in green flames...and lightning lashed through his arms as he delivered a blistering frenzy of flaming punches to the beast as it writhed, flinched, pulsed, and cracked, its energy state fluctuating out of control.

Determined to get her own in, Tatsumaki gathered her psychic energy...and her eyes lit as she had an idea.  Once again, she focused on trying to freeze Web Soul. She grinned as she saw the beast writhe in agony from the constant temperature fluctuations until it exploded.

“Yaho!” the green-clad stranger declared, his voice a mix of excitement and relief as he landed at the end of his jump.  “That was tough! I dunno if I can handle all of this…” He shook himself off, then patted his cheeks. “Buck up, Luigi,” he murmured to himself, though loud enough for Tatsumaki to hear.  “Remember why you’re doing this. Gotta be strong so you can be brave for your brother…”

A thoughtful expression crossed Tatsumaki’s face as she heard that...and she decided to do something she hadn’t ever considered for a long time.  She floated down to give this new hero some encouragement.

* * *

 

“You’re Green Mario, right?”

Luigi blinked in surprise as he turned to face the young woman he’d helped, who had helped him to beat Web Soul.  Now that the intensity of combat was passed, he could notice just how...cute and pretty she was. Definitely way out of his league, not that he was looking for romance.  “Yeah, thats’a me,” he confirmed happily. “I don’ta think I caught your name.”

She chuckled indulgently.  “That has to be genuine. No one who knew me on sight would pretend not to be aware of the second rank S Class hero...not even the new 18th rank.”

Luigi blinked in surprise.  He _did_ know about the second rank hero, though he hadn’t made the connection immediately.  “Tatsumaki,” he concluded with a smile. “Should’a figured the lady so pretty she sweeps me off my feet is named for the strongest wind.”  He saw no reason not to be honest with compliments when he knew he had no chance. An honest kind word opened doors to friendships, after all.

To his surprise, Tatsumaki’s eyes widened and she turned aside, clenching her teeth as her cheeks pinked a little.  “Bet you’re feeling tough after taking out your first Dragon level threat, aren’t you?” she asked challengingly.

“Nah,” Luigi countered dismissively.  “Terrified out of my wits still.” He shook himself out.  “More luck than anything ta pull that off. Just in’a the right place at the right time with the right skills…”

Tatsumaki looked him over for a time.  “...I’ll be keeping my eye on you,” she observed mysteriously before floating off.

Luigi blinked in confusion as he stared after her.  “Uh...thanks?” he offered uncertainly.

* * *

 

Tatsumaki kept her face down so the green curls that framed it hid her blushing cheeks as she headed straight home.  He was definitely strong and skilled...but he didn’t let that puff himself up. Like her, he had a sibling he was doing this to take care of.  And he was genuinely gentle and kind...and found her pretty. And that mustache…

Damn her hormones!  She would _not_ lose control over some new pretty face the day he showed up and get turned into a tabloid joke!  She was better than that! ...next week she’d scout him out and find out more about him.

* * *

The last vestiges of Web Soul floated through the ether, struggling to cling to life...only to be sucked into a vortex of enraged fury barely contained behind a veneer of apathy and disinterest.  The amalgam being welcomed him, and made him a part of itself.

Negatama smirked as he read Web Soul’s last memories.  Saitama had been watching. This ‘Green Mario’ was a student of his obviously...and he would be fighting many more beasts that rose in the Cities.  Soon he would have enough to be at full strength...and in the meantime, Bowser would keep things...fun.


	6. Chapter 6

Saitama smiled as Luigi and Genos returned to the apartment.  “So...how was Luigi’s first day as an S Class Hero?” he asked calmly.  He did his best to not show that he was envious of Luigi’s rapid acceptance in the Hero Association, or that Luigi would never have to keep up a ‘weekly quota’ to keep his job, or that no one would ever doubt Luigi’s abilities the way his were.  After all, he didn’t do it for recognition, he did it for fun...and once Luigi’s training was complete, he’d be going back to wherever he came from.

Saitama had a very good poker face.  Neither Luigi nor Genos noticed any sign of his envy.

“Luigi single-handedly obliterated a Dragon level threat,” Genos informed Saitama readily.

Saitama let out an appreciative whistle.  “Not bad for your first go.”

“Not single-handed,” Luigi insisted modestly, trying to pull his hat down over his face as they made much of him.

“Correction, he used both hands,” Genos confirmed with a teasing smirk.

“Well, he hasn’t even trained for a full year yet,” Saitama allowed as he pulled out the takeout boxes for dinner.  While not the best food available, it was orders of magnitude better than what he’d been used to when he was living alone, and plentiful.

“Tatsumaki helped too,” Luigi insisted defensively.  “I don’t think I’d have been able to actually finish it off without her.”

“True,” Genos admitted.  “The expression on your face when you leapt to her defense was one I have never seen on you before.  It appears fighting to protect others plumbs new depths of your powers and capabilities.”

“Sounds about right,” Saitama allowed.  He then blinked. “Oh, does Luigi have himself a new girlfriend?”  He smirked teasingly.

“It’s not’a like that!” Luigi insisted defensively.

“You were certainly flirting enough,” Genos offered playfully.

“I wasn’t flirting!”

“Her increased pheromone production, raised body temperature, and flushed cheeks suggested otherwise,” Genos countered as his smirk widened.  Luigi buried his face in his cap to hide his embarrassment.

“Oho, sounds like Green Mario’s coming in first in the race!” Saitama teased playfully as he ate.  He then frowned. “Tatsu...maki? That name sounds familiar. Is that someone I know?”

“2nd rank S Class hero?” Genos clarified.

Saitama frowned and scratched his bald crown.  “Not ringing any bells…”

“Powerful esper?  Telekinetic abilities?  Green hair?”

Saitama shrugged.  “Hmm...nope.”

“Hates your guts?” Genos added with a frown.

“That’s a long list,” Saitama pointed out playfully.  “Not  _ all _ of them are dead.”

“Why’a would Tatsumaki hate Sensei’s guts?” Luigi asked Genos curiously.

“Because he keeps teasing her about her height and...youthful appearance,” Genos offered delicately.

“Oh, the spoiled brat!” Saitama declared with a smile as he place his right fist down on his left palm in recognition.  He then smirked at Luigi. “Never took you for a lolicon, Luigi, but I suppose the world takes all kinds-”

“She’s not a kid!” Luigi insisted defensively, his eyes glittering.  “She’s a beautiful lady and deserves to be treated as’a such!”

Genos blinked in shock.  He had not expected this side to Luigi...though given the stories he’d told between training sessions of ‘rescuing the Princess’, he probably should have expected chivalry to be a large part of his character.

“Beautiful ‘lady’, huh?” Saitama joked, patting his chest playfully where he still wore his ‘Oppai’ shirt.  “Sorry, but I just don’t see it-”

Luigi’s hands slammed down on the table hard enough to make everything leap into the air, somehow  _ not _ breaking the table in the process despite the floor quivering.  “There’s more to a lady than the size of her chest, you...you...Roshi!” he snapped out, grasping at something he’d once seen Mario reading for something he could insult his Sensei with over this without being too offensive.  His eyes widened as he saw the flying food, quickly snatching it out of the air and setting it back down. “...sorry…”

“Harsh,” Saitama observed calmly, but said no more about it.

* * *

 

On the street outside, Tatsumaki did her best to pull her dress up to hide her blushing cheeks even if there wasn’t anyone around to see.  She hadn’t  _ meant _ to follow ‘Green Mario’ back to where he was, but she’d been passing through Z City on her way back to her place for the night - she’d taken a roundabout course to clear her head and avoid her sister - and wondered what he was doing there.  Seeing him entering the bald idiot’s apartment with Genos had piqued her curiosity. After all, Genos frequently referred to that idiot as his teacher, and Green Mario’s abilities - aside from fire and lightning manipulation - seemed to be along the same lines as the idiot’s, if not quite on the same apparent scale.  If Luigi  _ was _ being trained by him…

And now she’d heard that not only was Genos aware that Luigi’s words had left her flustered (she made a mental note to make sure he paid appropriately for that, and for telling Luigi), but when the Baldy had started his usual taunts about her, Luigi had leapt to her defense, when all he could possibly have earned from doing so was his teacher’s ire.  Admittedly, she hadn’t been close enough to hear much beyond what Luigi had shouted and she’d had to logic out what the others had said based on that...but what she did know was enough to set her blushing again. She decided to quickly make her exit before a lucky tabloid photographer got a picture of her peeping into the Baldy’s apartment. There were enough rumors about them from the constant fighting, anyway, without adding more fuel to the fire…

* * *

 

As the meal inside the apartment continued in silence, Saitama noticed Luigi sinking lower and lower in his seat.  “Look, I’m not  _ mad _ about the ‘Roshi’ comment, even if that’s more like Silverfang than me-”

“It’sa not that, though I am sorry…” Luigi mumbled morosely as he ate.

“Then what is distressing you, Luigi?” Genos asked in concern.

“Are...are you’a sure she thought I was’a flirting with her?” Luigi asked nervously.

“Absolutely,” Genos confirmed readily.  “And you did a very good job as well. It all sounded completely natural, not at all like you were putting on airs or behaviors to try and win her over-”

“Mama Mia…” Luigi groaned as he put his food down and buried his face in both hands.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, Casanova,” Saitama teased playfully.  “And if anything happens with you two, I promise not to tease her about her looks while you’re da-”

“Her boyfriend’sa gonna kill me…” Luigi moaned out as he sunk under the table.

“Boyfriend?” Saitama asked in surprise.  He turned to Genos. “The brat has a boyfriend?”

“To my knowledge, she’s single,” Genos pointed out thoughtfully.

“Eh?” Luigi asked in shock, shooting back upright.  “No way! I refuse to believe a girl as’a pretty as that doesn’t have a boyfriend!”

Genos leaned back as he tapped the information networks.  “From my understanding and research...those who would be in her ‘dating pool’ generally fall into one of two categories.  The first are too terrified of her powers to try anything, since her powers are strongly influenced by her emotional state.”

“Yeah, who’d want to risk dating a girl who might  _ accidentally _ tear you in half if you’re ten minutes late?” Saitama joked easily.

“The second group are those who  _ are _ strong enough to not have to fear accidental destruction by her powers, but…”  Genos hesitated, then sighed. “For whatever reason, are of Sensei’s mindset regarding her appearance.”

“If you are that high in Hero ranks, you generally have your fair share of fangirls - or boys, depending on preference - to pursue for fun or romance,” Saitama pointed out, the slightest hint of envy in his voice.

Luigi blinked in shock.  “Ya...ya mean she’s...never had a boyfriend?”

Genos frowned thoughtfully.  “Her personnel records show her as having no exes to be concerned about, so I would assume so.”

Luigi frowned sadly.  “That’sa just not right.  She deserves a chance at romance if that’sa what she wants…”

“In that case, why don’t  _ you _ ask her out?” Saitama suggested jokingly.  “I’ll be happy to watch the fireworks from here.”

Luigi frowned thoughtfully as he stroked his mustache.  “You know’a what? I think’a I will!” he stated firmly as he walked over to the computer.  Logging onto his Hero Association profile, he began composing a message.

* * *

 

Tatsumaki sighed to herself as she reached home.  The cool air had done wonders for her blush, managing to calm her down so she was no longer flustered and could manage to think clearly about things.  It didn’t matter how sweet, or handsome, or chivalrous ‘Green Mario’ was, or how he was obviously attracted to her, or how bushy his mustache was...that perfect ‘stache…

She quickly smacked her cheeks with her hands to clear those thoughts.  This just proved she didn’t have a clear perspective on this, and she would need to keep her distance from Luigi until she had full control of herself.  Even if he  _ could _ walk through her psychic storms like they were cool breezes, she could not start acting giddy as a schoolgirl with a ‘Sempai notice me’ attitude!  That would  _ destroy _ her reputation, and she’d be the butt of every tabloid joke for months, if not longer!

“You have ‘one’ new personal message!” her computer beeped at her as her HA account became active at her approach.

She blinked in confusion.  She’d never actually had a ‘Personal Message’ from her HA account before.  Everything from the Association itself was classified as business messages, and anything from her sister was marked as ‘Family Message’...not that she’d gotten one of those in a long while.  She idly wondered who would be sending her a ‘Personal Message’ through HA instead of the mail or something similar. According to her sister, love letters and the like usually came through the mail for extra security...not that she’d ever gotten one.  Floating over, she opened the message. It was apparently an ‘E-vite’ in format, where she could just click ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to whatever was offered, but the content...

_ Hey, Tatsumaki! _

_ There’s a really pretty park off the beaten path between Z-City and Y-City.  If it’s still there come Friday afternoon, wanna meat there for a picnic so we can talk and get to know each other a bit?  I’ll bring the pasta! _

_ Luigi ‘Green Mario’ Mario _

“Is...is he...is he asking me on a date?” Tatsumaki gasped out.  “W-what am I supposed to- _ why did I just say yes?! _ ”  While she’d been struggling through it mentally, some part of her mind had acted through her powers to respond with a click.


	7. Chapter 7

Before too long, Friday arrived.  To Luigi’s pleasant - if nervous - surprise, the park was still there and rather pristine despite numerous battles happening near it.  To Saitama’s amusement, he’d witnessed green energy seizing any debris or attack heading towards the park and sending it flying back into the faces of whatever had sent it that way, even when Tatsumaki was known to be all the way over in C City.  Also to Luigi’s pleasant surprise, in addition to the initial confirmation message, Tatsumaki had sent a meeting time of 3 PM, which gave him two hours from now to gather everything he needed and get there. He was certain it was plenty of time. He might even get there early and have time to gather his nerves.

An idle thought made him look himself over in the mirror.  As much as he loved his green shirt, blue overalls, white gloves, and green cap...here they were his  _ hero _ outfit.  Would wearing them on...on a date...send the wrong message?  Then again, did he have anything else to wear?

_ Still, _ he thought to himself as he took hold of his cap,  _ I can at least clean my hair up a bit. _  He lifted the cap off his head...and stared.  “M...Mama mia...that’s not what it looked like at my last hair cut…”

“Oh yeah, the training has an odd effect on hair like that,” Saitama spoke up as he approached.  “I was going to warn you, but since you weren’t training to completely eliminate fear, I didn’t think it’d happen to you-”  His voice stopped as he caught sight of Luigi. “...excuse me, I need to go punch something I’ll get paid for punching, as opposed to something I’ll regret punching.”  With no more said than that, Saitama leapt out the window and stalked off. Monsters for miles around decided now was a good time to stay home and work on knitting, demonstrating that even the most suicidal amongst them had a survival instinct.

“I wonder what’s bothering Sensei?” Genos asked curiously as he stepped into the bathroom.  He then blinked at the sight of Luigi. “Getting ready for your date?” he asked curiously. “Do you have anything other than your hero outfit to wear?”

“N-not really…” Luigi admitted, still staring at his scalp as his cap sat limply in his hand.

“Come with me, then,” Genos stated with a smile.  “There’s a tailor in the area who does good work fast, and I know just what to have him make for you.”

“But the pasta…” Luigi began uncertaintly.

“We’ll hit the market on the way back,” Genos replied calmly as he grabbed a couple pots, “and there’s a water source in the park that’s as pure as what comes out of the pipes here.”

* * *

 

Tatsumaki floated nervously as she approached the park.  She’d torn her wardrobe - and several clothing boutiques - apart trying to find something  _ other _ than the dress she wore ‘on the job’ to wear for her date that would look good, something that would make her look adult as opposed to a little kid playing dress up.  As much as she hated to admit it, the Bald Idiot had a valid point with his taunts. She was short and slim-bodied, and no matter what effort she went to would probably look like a Dachshund next to a Great Dane compared to Luigi...or a hobbit next to a cave troll, though probably the most handsome cave troll in existence-

She shook her head to clear it of those thoughts.  She was already going to have a hard enough time being taken seriously as an adult without acting like a lovesick schoolgirl...not that she even knew  _ how _ to act like a lovesick schoolgirl.  The only people she knew how to socialize with were her superiors (tolerate and remember that being part of HA was better than not being part of it, considering what had been), other heroes weaker than her (barely concealed contempt and arrogance), civilians (ignore unless it was a press event, then stick to the script), and her sister (try futilely to figure out what caused the argument  _ this _ time while trying to keep her from whatever she was doing that would ruin her life  _ this _ week).  None of that told her how to interact on a date, let alone on a picnic in the park as a first date.  Everything online and in books suggested that would be a second, third, or fourth date, with different guidelines for how to dress, behave, talk, and even  _ eat _ depending on which date it was...and many of those didn’t agree.  She’d considered trying to adapt how her sister behaved on dates (she’d had a lot of first dates, but few seconds after the dates learned of her family for some reason), but she’d been forced to admit that she lacked...certain assets her sister had in abundance as far as that, and she would  _ not _ be able to pull it off without looking ridiculous.

Forced to admit she would look like a little kid acting grown up no matter what she did...she decided to work with what she had.  If there was no way to pull off ‘mature and sexy’, then she would play ‘cute and spunky’ for all it was worth.  _ That _ she had the body for, and a wardrobe she could make work.  She’d worn a plain gray hoodie to the park to make sure no one would recognize her...and then left it tied around her waist as she looked for Luigi.  She was wearing a green video-game themed t-shirt that fit her snugly, the design of concentric circles expanding to one side in green shaping itself over her flat stomach and small but still noticeable bust.  The tied hoodie concealed where the shirt left her with a bare midriff, and hung down in back over how the tight shorts she wore fit almost like a second skin over her understated-yet-shapely rear, leaving her shapely legs and delicate feet exposed to the air.  That was the one part of her she was proud of as definitely looking adult, and the overall look was one that balanced between ‘cute and spunky’ and ‘tumble flirty’, and could easily lean to the latter if the date went exceptionally well just by setting the hoodie aside.

She hoped the look worked well...as she genuinely had no idea how to act here.  She’d never been on a date, never had a boyfriend...and as much as she might want to just let Luigi take the lead so she could learn, she had a reputation as ‘The Terrible Tempest’ to maintain, and the last thing she could afford - for herself  _ or _ her sister - was to let that fall apart because she’d gotten twitterpated.  Whatever Fubuki said, Tatsumaki’s reputation was one of the only things keeping someone unsavory from trying to take advantage of Fubuki’s relatively weaker esper powers to target her for her far more mature body.  Tatsumaki knew far too well what sort  _ those _ were…

“Maki-chan!  Over here!”

Tatsumaki tensed up.  While she knew the voice, she also knew she needed to round on him for using a nickname like that without clearing it with her first!  Not only did it make her sound childish, it implied things about them that-

Any thought of chiding flew out of Tatsumaki’s mind as she caught sight of Luigi.  His curly brown hair - having looked rather short under his cap - hung freely down to the small of his back to wave in the breeze, long and luxurious and seeming to capture the sun’s light to turn it into a river of bronze.  It framed his face, where his blue eyes - now the exact shade of a summer sky after a storm - stared out over his perfectly combed bushy mustache. He was dressed in a short-sleeves button-down white shirt with the top few buttons left undone, showing off the tone of his musculature, and loose black pants that hinted at the tone of his legs without exposing them, and black sneakers.  His shoulders were broad without being those of a linebacker or bodybuilder, his muscles firm and toned without being excessively bulky, and the happy smile on his face coupled with the smoothness of his hands as he waved to her showed his gentle kindness.

She used her powers to force her mouth shut as she floated over to him...as much to express irritation over the nickname that she knew she  _ should _ feel as to keep herself from  _ drooling _ …

Smiling, Luigi reached down and took her hand - good lord, did he have control of his lightning powers?  It felt like white hot lightning had raced up her arm along her pleasure neurons when his fingers touched hers - before kneeling down, kissing just above her fingertips with the edge of his mustache just  _ barely _ brushing her knuckles.  “You’re looking absolutely gorgeous today,” he offered warmly as he released her hand.

“T-thanks,” she managed to stammer out as she struggled to get herself under control.  Thankfully, that gave her an opening where she could turn the subject  _ off _ herself and still continue, and maybe gather her thoughts.  “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

To her surprise, Luigi blushed brightly under his mustache.  “You can’a thank Genos for that,” he admitted modestly. “I dunno how to make myself look good in anything but my overalls.  Didn’t even have anything but them before he took me shopping.” He then paused. “I...I didn’t overstep, calling you Maki-chan...did I?”

Tatsumaki glanced away, wishing she was still wearing her hoodie so she could pull it up to hide her blush.  “J-just not where others can hear, okay?” she managed to say. “I’ve...I have reasons for my rep…”

Luigi nodded in understanding.  “I’ll remember.” Seeing her fidget, he managed a warm smile.  “First date jitters?” When that got a slight nod, his smile widened.  “Me too.”

Tatsumaki stared up at him in surprise...but managed a soft smile.  Floating over, she folded her legs under her on the blanket he’d laid out as he moved towards a few containers and a couple of pots.  Suddenly...a ‘date’ didn’t seem as intimidating. Maybe, just for once...she didn’t have to be, either.


	8. Chapter 8

Luigi turned himself so he could still be facing Tatsumaki while he worked on making the pasta and sauce.  He’d already filled the pasta pot with clean water from a nearby stream, after testing it to ensure it was indeed pure.  He picked up the mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, peppers, and other vegetable ingredients for the sauce and began rolling them around his hands, using lightning arcing between his hands to dice them up into the right sizes before letting them drop into the base broth, briefly pausing to drop a green fireball in to set the liquid to gently bubbling.

Tatsumaki whistled appreciatively.  “Where’d you learn to cook like that?  Did your Mom have those powers too?”

Luigi hesitated.  “I...I dunno. I never knew my parents…”

“Oh...I’m sorry…”

They both sat in silence as Luigi continued to work.  Luigi desperately cast around for something he could say to move past the silence.  “...I was raised by Yoshis,” he finally managed to say.

“...what’s a Yoshi?” Tatsumaki asked curiously, though he could see by her face she was just as desperate to end the silence as he was.

Smiling, Luigi rolled a spark of electricity over the grass, tracing an image of the dinosaur-like people.  “They’re a peaceful race of dinosaurs, mainly live on’a island south of the Mushroom Kingdom. They raised my brother and I.”

“How’d you end up there?” Tatsumaki asked curiously.  “Plane go down?”

“Stork got lost,” Luigi joked easily.

“You’re kidding me!” Tatsumaki snapped out, plainly not believing him.

“No joke!” Luigi insisted.  “The stork got waylaid by Kamek and a few of his minions, and he dropped my brother and I onto Yoshi’s Island.  My brother wound up with the Yoshis, I wound up in Kamek’s clutches...and Mario’s sense of me led the Yoshis to rescuing me.  Still no idea why Kamek was after us…”

“Then what happened?” Tatsumaki inquired, curious despite herself.

Luigi chuckled as he scooped up the meat he’d brought, shaping it into balls with burning hands to pre-sear it as it was shaped so he could drop it straight into the bubbling sauce.  “Yoshi sent the stork on’a his way with Mario and I, and he dropped us off...to parents that weren’t expecting babies. The wrong house!”

“Goodness!” Tatsumaki gasped out.  She then blinked as she put it together with what was said earlier.  “And...he never found the right house?”

“Nope,” Luigi allowed softly.  “The Yoshis helped find a bunch of other waylaid babies, and the others found the right homes...but the paperwork that said where we were supposed to go - even that we  _ existed _ \- was lost.  By then, the Yoshis had grown rather fond of us, so...they kept us.”  Dropping the meatballs into the pot, he added another fireball to speed the cooking before setting it aside.  He turned to the pasta.

“I...see…”  Tatsumaki watched him quietly as he broke the pasta up and put it into the water before putting his hands to the sides of the pot, heating it up with his flames until the water boiled.  “Guess that’s why this feels a little like Jane meets Tarzan,” she murmured at last, making Luigi chuckle.

“What about you?” he asked curiously.  “Want to tell me about yourself?”

“There’s not much to tell,” Tatsumaki admitted ruefully.  “S Class Hero rank 2, the strongest esper to ever live...and I’ve got a younger sister everyone thinks is the older sister because she actually looks like a mature adult compared to me…”

“Must’a been tough on her,” Luigi observed idly.  “Being the one everyone thinks is responsible for’a you when she needed you to take care of her.”

Tatsumaki blinked in surprise.  She’d always railed against how since she never developed like her sister, everyone always treated her like a little kid, or worse, like a spoiled brat.  She’d never actually thought about how it affected Fubuki. She’d have to think about that another time.

“So it...was just the two of you?” Luigi asked carefully.

Tatsumaki lowered her gaze.  “...yeah...at least, ever since our powers manifested…”

“Did something happen?” Luigi asked worriedly.

Tatsumaki pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.  “I don’t want to talk about it…” she muttered.

Luigi frowned thoughtfully as he looked at her.  Anyone else might have just assumed sadness, thinking Tatsumaki’s immense powers had resulted in something happening to her parents...but there was too much anger there for it to be so simple.  Deep inside him, he felt the well of shadows that the dance came from stirring, responding to something felt, rather than perceived. “Then we won’t,” Luigi offered warmly as he poured the now cooked pasta out onto plates, scooping sauce and meatballs over top before sprinkling on some grated cheese.  “Bon appetit!”

Tatsumaki idly picked up her plate and took a bite...then bit her lip as a groan escaped.  “Seriously, where did you learn to cook so well? I need this recipe!”

Luigi chuckled indulgently as he ate.  “Trial and error, mostly,” he admitted ruefully.  “And I don’t really have a recipe. I just know how much of what to use to make it taste how I want it to...mostly by sight.”  He slurped up a noodle happily. “Though I only started using my fireballs or the Thunderhand to cook after I came here. Part of Sensei’s training involves’a using my powers to cut down on utility bills.  Has an odd effect.” He smiled warmly. “This is the best it’s tasted like that. Must be the company.”

Tatsumaki ducked her head in a vain attempt to hide a blush.  After a time, she looked back up. “So you think it’ll always taste this good when you cook for me?” she offered in an attempt at teasing.

Luigi managed a nervous grin.  “M-maybe,” he managed to stammer out.

“In that case, we should try this again and see,” she murmured thoughtfully as she ate.  “Don’t suppose you brought dessert, too?”

Smiling, Luigi set out two cannoli, carefully braced with the cream filling puffing out each end with the chocolate chips and drizzle atop.  “Made them myself,” he offered warmly, blinking in surprise at the wide-eyed gaze that Tatsumaki was directing at the sweets.

* * *

 

Tatsumaki stared as Luigi casually laid out her favorite guilty pleasure like it was nothing.  When he said he’d made it himself, she’d found herself nearly frozen. Desperately, she forced herself to keep eating the pasta as she turned her gaze back to Luigi.   _ If that tastes anywhere near as good as this pasta, _ she thought to herself as she chewed an absolutely divine meatball,  _ I am finding a way to keep him all to myself...even if I have to ask White Fang for advice on how to seduce a man. _


	9. Chapter 9

Much to Luigi’s surprise, Saitama and Genos’ amusement, and Tatsumaki’s denied pleasure, the picnic was not the pair’s last date.  Each date was arranged to be on a Friday afternoon barring villain or monster activity calling their attention, and they went out of their way to avoid drawing attention to their outings any time they weren’t somewhere they had privacy.

Admittedly, avoiding drawing attention was somewhat difficult when one of their number was now taller than Pretty Pretty Prisoner and - while leanly muscled rather than as bulky as that S Class ‘Hero’ - strong enough he walked through lampposts when he was flustered, while the other was among the shortest adults in the city and had to remember not to float everywhere when being incognito.  As a result, quite a few gossip magazines had interest articles of ‘The Grey Dane and the Dachshund’ with pictures of the pair hiding most of their features in matching grey hoodies and slacks with Tatsumaki barely coming up to Luigi’s elbow, the only other noticeable feature being Luigi’s mustache that defied attempts at disguise by appearing prominently out from under his hood.

They had attempted a restaurant date once.  Unfortunately, they’d found that either their ‘disguises’ weren’t enough to get into high end restaurants with dress codes, the quality of food at those they could go into paled in comparison to Luigi’s cooking, the places with good food and no dress code proved too small for Luigi to be comfortable, or the few places where comfort, good food, and good ambience were available would ruin the experience by refusing to treat Tatsumaki in disguise as an adult.  Luigi had given up trying to convince them otherwise, and they’d taking to turning around and leaving the moment the host or hostess asked Luigi, “Just you and your daughter?”

Movie dates were far easier.  While the one selling tickets would often try and sell one adult and one child ticket to the pair, they were generally quite understanding about their mistake once Luigi looked them in the eye and corrected them.  ...Tatsumaki refused to tell him just how  _ terrifying _ his steely gaze glowing under the shadowed hood over his mustache as he spoke so firmly would be to those unused to fighting at their scale.  She enjoyed watching the clerks pee their pants too much.

In the end, the dates involving meals proved to be picnics like the first one, with Luigi making various dishes Tatsumaki showed interest in.  Much to Tatsumaki’s surprise, these dates proved most fun if they met up and shopped for ingredients together before going on the picnic. It made her feel almost...normal.

That was probably the biggest draw for Tatsumaki as far as being with Luigi.  To just about everyone else in her world outside her sister, she was one of three things.  She was either the terrifying number 2 S Class Hero, a respected comrade only, or ‘the brat’.  But to Luigi, she was a fair lady he was courting. He made her feel...like a normal woman. It felt...amazing.

Admittedly, normality had to be taken with a grain of salt when their picnics were anywhere from a platform balanced on the peak of Tokyo Tower, on a flying carpet Luigi’d picked up in one of his adventures, or sitting on a cloud high above the city.  She had no idea how Luigi could sit or walk on a cloud, but there was nothing quite like leaning back against his side as she sipped a smoothie he’d blended as they were supported by cloud fluff and staring up at the moon and stars with no other lights above them.

And during their dates they had talked.  After the intensity of the conversation of their first date, they’d restricted their conversation to more innocent topics.  Favorite foods, books, movies, sports, and things of that nature as they got to know each other with a little less intensity, working their way back up to whatever baggage they carried.

Of course, it wasn’t long before conversation eventually returned to heavier subjects, though both of them attempted to tiptoe into it.  In Tatsumaki’s case, it was through discussion of family.

“So you mentioned your brother?” she asked softly as she sat back in his lap as he leaned against a high cliff.  While not her preferred way to sit with him - no matter what her hormones said to the contrary - they were halfway up the cliff and the ledge was barely big enough for Luigi to sit on, and he’d offered her a seat on his knee so she didn’t have to keep herself afloat, and she’d pushed in deeper ‘for more stability’.  To her surprise - and secret frustration - he’d accepted it readily, even putting an arm around her...but showed no reaction to having her rear against his lap, even when she wriggled.

“Yeah, Mario,” Luigi confirmed.

She blinked in surprise.  “Isn’t that your last name?” she asked, having looked up his file between dates.

“...yeah…” Luigi offered awkwardly.

Quickly realizing she was stepping too close to an emotional minefield, she shifted her approach.  “What’s he like?” she asked quickly.

She could practically feel Luigi smile even without looking up.  “If I were’a gonna sum him up in one word...headstrong. Anytime somethin’ dangerous is happenin’, he’s charging right in ta try and save the day, no matter the danger.  Really seems ta enjoy it.”

Tatsumaki smirked.  “Yeah, I know the type,” she mused sardonically.  “Most of the Hero Association’s ranks is made up of that type, as well as quite a few of the S Class.”

Luigi chuckled softly.  “Yeah...I’ve never been able ta be like that.  Honestly...I’ve always been a bit of a coward. The danger Mario loved rushin’ into...it always scared me.  But...I still went with him, because waiting for him ta come back - and not knowin’ if he would - was worse.  But more often than not...it felt like my fear made me a burden. It’s why I came ta learn under Sensei. He’s conquered fear.  I...thought his training could help me face mine.”

“Well it seems to have worked,” Tatsumaki commented as she rested a hand on his arm, trying not to be distracted by the feeling of his muscles under her fingers.  “You’ve faced quite a few of the monsters and villains that show up around here without flinching, from what I’ve seen.”

“Still scared every time one shows up,” Luigi admitted tacitly.  “They’re a lot worse than anything back home.”

“There’s a difference between being brave and being fearless,” Tatsumaki pointed out firmly.  “And only the former is truly worthy of respect. The latter is a sign of mental instability, in my opinion.”

Luigi couldn’t help but chuckle.  “I’ve had that distinction pointed out to me a lot,” he mused thoughtfully.  “...so why is this the first time I really believe it?”

“Maybe all the training made you understand it better?” she suggested thoughtfully.

“...or maybe it’s just the one who said it.”

Tatsumaki was glad to be in his lap just then.  It made it highly unlikely he would see her blush.


	10. Chapter 10

Luigi sat back calmly in the Hero Association’s monitor room, keeping an eye out for Danger Alerts throughout the cities under the HA’s protection.  As one of the few heroes who could easily dispatch to anywhere in any of the cities - a supply of warp flutes Rosalina had dropped off for him, along with a few other power ups in case of emergency, allowed for that - he was one of the most versatile resources available.  As such, they’d decided the best way to familiarize him with the functions and layouts of all the cities at once was to place him on monitor duty. It was rather easy for him, and being so far from any actual dangers that showed up made it easy for him to analyze it dispassionately.  In between such reports, he was going through the files on active Heroes, so that he would know who was where, what they were capable of, and thus who was best to dispatch to deal with what threat. After all, if a monster could remotely manipulate fire it would be rather stupid to dispatch someone with plant affinity to deal with it when someone with water or cold based powers was available.

 

At least, that had been what he’d stated when he’d requested seeing the files on active Heroes.  Truthfully, he’d only asked for access because he’d learned a bit more from Tatsumaki about her sister, beyond that their relationship was less than ideal.  Specifically, he’d learned her name and Hero Rank. While that was enough to get her public bio, that hadn’t given him answers to any of the questions he’d had.  He’d thought it would be a simple matter to request more information, but his computer inquiry had immediately resulted in a text chat with higher ups in HR. His excuse was considered valid, and he was provided with  _ everyone’s _ files.

 

Spotting an alert, he calmly called up the local cameras.  Some sort of generator monster discharging lightning in Z City.  After checking a few details, he calmly sent the alert to his Sensei.  He  _ was _ looking to meet his heroic quota, after all, and it was practically on his doorstep.

 

Satisfied that the issue would be dealt with shortly, he turned back to files...only to frown as another alert arrived.  A pure power monster, human sized and causing quite a bit of devastation in D City. And the nearest group of heroes…

 

Sending the alert, he opened up a chat window, dreading the conversation to come.  It wasn’t long before the chat request got a response.

 

GreenToT: Monitor duty so boring you just couldn’t wait to talk to me, big guy?

 

Luigi managed a smile and a chuckle as he typed his response with one hand, still monitoring signals and the fight he’d just set in motion with the other.

 

Player2: I’ve managed to keep myself entertained.  I just had an alert from a villain with unnaturally high physical power, so I had to find someone who could stop his fighting at range.

GreenToT: And you decided to let me know in chat rather than just a dispatch signal?  Aren’t you sweet. ;)

Player2: Actually...someone else was...closer…

 

He waited calmly, dreading the response that would come.  While the relationship between sisters was rocky, Luigi had realized it was in part due to just how protective of Fubuki that Tatsumaki was, and how that was expressed.  Being the one to send Fubuki into possible danger…

 

GreenToT: What threat level?

Player2: I’d say firmly Tiger.  He seems to be focusing on one-on-one fights, with excess damage being collateral.  Not enough to merit Demon.

GreenToT: Then she can handle herself, especially if he doesn’t have anything  _ but _ boosted strength.

Player2: Glad to hear that.

GreenToT: ...wait, did you think I’d be upset at you for sending my sister into battle?

Player2: ...maybe? ^^;

GreenToT: Silly goose.  She’s the top B Class Hero for a reason.  She’d easily be high A Class if she took the promotion.  I know how tough she is, and I’m not gonna bite your head off because you had her do her job.

 

Luigi chuckled ruefully to himself.  In hindsight, his nervousness  _ did _ seem a little-

 

GreenToT: Now if you  _ hadn’t _ told me you sent her and she got hurt, that would be a different story.  How’s she doing, anyway?

 

His rueful chuckles turned nervous.  He wasn’t scared of Tatsumaki, necessarily...but he did value the bond they developed and didn’t want to skew that.  It seemed he’d made the right choice.

 

Player2: Already beat him.  She may not be on your level in power, but her skill’s phenomenal.

GreenToT: Yeah, I’m really proud of her with that.

Player2: Have you thought about telling her?

GreenToT: …

Player2: D...did I overstep?

GreenToT: It’s not that...it’s...tough to explain…

Player2: I’ve got time, and I’m always ready to listen.  More productive than reviewing the Hero combat profiles for the third time.

GreenToT: Which ones?

Player2: All of them.

GreenToT: You’re kidding! O_O

Player2: I’m a fast reader.

 

Knowing it would take time for Tatsumaki to respond if she was up to discussing it, he turned his focus back to his monitors for alerts.  Seeing there weren’t any new ones that weren’t already being attended to, he flicked the screen to hero profiles. He’d hesitated to look into biographies as that felt too much like prying, but psychological details - such as any phobias or significant traumas - did play a part in combat abilities and what threats Heroes could be sent against.  A beep called his attention back to the chat.

 

GreenToT: I love my sister, I do, and I worry about her.  She’s nearly as headstrong as I am, though a bit stronger on the planning side.  But...there are things in the world she won’t be able to face down on her own, and she tends to rely a lot on others.  I...I worry about what could happen if she faced something she couldn’t handle, or...or if that trust was betrayed.

Player2: You worry you might lose her.

GreenToT: Or worse...yeah…

Player2: I know exactly what you mean.

GreenToT: ...yeah, I guess you would.

Player2: Does she know how you feel?

GreenToT: I...I don’t know.  Every time we meet up and try to talk, it ends up devolving into a major argument.  I...can’t remember the last time we had a civil discussion...or even just a pleasant interlude…

 

Luigi let that turn over in his mind for a time.  He knew Tatsumaki had a temper, though he’d yet to be the subject of it.  He imagined Fubuki would have one as well, and with the other issues he’d deduced they had it was easy to imagine how that would frequently lead to arguments.  If only there was a way for them to talk without that happening, to say what they felt without egos or tempers getting in the way…

 

Player2: You could send her an E-mail?

GreenToT: Huh?

Player2: When you meet in person, you try to speak right away, but things get heated as you react to each other and what might just be sibling teasing escalates into frayed tempers and shouting?

GreenToT: ...yeah?

Player2: So send her a letter!  ...electronically, anyway. That way you can look over what you’re saying to her, make sure it only says what you want it to say to her, and she’ll see the entire message before reacting to you.

GreenToT: That...that could work.  I’ve...never really written a letter - even electronically - before…

Player2: I’ll help you if you like.

GreenToT: ...thanks, I think I’ll take you up on that.  Can’t be any more awkward than the rest of today’s been.

Player2: Eh?

GreenToT: Just...had to ask someone for advice.  It...didn’t go like I’d expected it to.

Player2: Can I help?

GreenToT: NO!

 

Luigi pulled back from the screen in surprise.  Why was she-

 

GreenToT: I mean...not on this.  It’s a...delicate issue.

Player2: Wha...oh!  R-right…

 

He pulled his hat down over his head, not wanting to explain to anyone else in the monitor room what was making him blush so brightly.

 

GreenToT: Heh, you’re blushing now, aren’t you?  I can tell. Bet you’re adorable when you do.

Player2: Well I already know you are when you do.

GreenToT: !!!

 

A smile crossed his lips.  He could picture her face now far too easily.


	11. Chapter 11

Silver Fang lay back on the roof of his dojo, enjoying a rare day of quiet.  He didn’t have any classes to teach, there hadn’t been any monster or criminal activity that had required his attention, and there weren’t any Hero Association events or assignments that involved him.  As a result, he could just lay back and take it easy…

At least until he was forced to lift a hand to catch the beer can that had somehow propelled itself at his head under its own power.  He frowned, but didn’t bother opening his eyes. “Hello, Tatsumaki,” he growled, his voice somewhere between irritated and respectful.  “I don’t suppose knocking would have been an acceptable alternative?”

“You weren’t inside, so I was knocking,” the green-haired hero replied flatly, her voice somewhere between irritated and...nervous?  Silver Fang had never heard that tone in her voice before.

Sighing, Silver Fang set the can aside.  It was still full, after all. “So what do you want from me?” he asked calmly, still not bothering to sit up.  While Tatsumaki wasn’t overly fond of him, she respected him as a fellow hero and so at worst would lecture him over not paying attention, since an actual scuffle between them would be problematic for whoever started it.

“I need some advice, and you seem the most qualified person to ask.”

Silver Fang opened his eyes in surprise.  That was the last thing he expected her to say.  ...okay, maybe not quite  _ the _ last, but it was certainly down there.  “Oh-”

“And if you tell anyone I asked you for advice, or about what, I’ll feed you your own testicles  _ before _ cutting them off you with your own teeth.”

That was definitely more familiar territory.  “Alright then. What did you want my advice on?”

There was silence for a time, and Silver Fang was on the verge of speaking again…  “I want to know how to seduce a man.”

Silver Fang quickly sat up, crossing his legs under him as he stared at the tiny floating woman before him.  That was  _ definitely _ even lower on the list of ‘things he expected her to say to him’.  “Really now?” he inquired, bringing a finger up to stroke his mustache.  “I must say, this comes as something of a surprise. What makes you think I’m best qualified to give this advice?”

“Because you’re the biggest pervert I know who’s interested in women,” she replied flatly, her eyes an emerald glare boring into his face.

Silver Fang shrugged.  “Fairly stated,” he allowed.  It was true that Puri Puri Prisoner was...an odd one.  “Still, if your goal is seduction, might your sister be-”

“You really think I could employ  _ her _ tactics?” she demanded coldly, the glow in her eyes the first sign he was close to getting himself embedded in the nearest mountain.

“...no comment,” he offered diplomatically, accepting the unsaid words that the  _ last _ thing a woman wants to do is ask her  _ little sister _ for romantic advice.  “Now, are we talking general or specific?”

“...was it livers or kidneys that humans had two of and could survive with only one?” Tatsumaki demanded coldly, the glow in her eyes intensifying.

“It’s a matter of technique,” Silver Fang explained quickly.  “I’d offer one set of advice if your goal was to vamp and get noticed, but different advice if you were just trying to get a specific guy to see you in a different way.  It’s two completely different approaches.”

The glow dimmed slightly.  “...specific, and I’m not telling you anything about him.”

“Fair enough, your private life is your concern,” Silver Fang allowed calmly.  He then grinned playfully. “Besides, I’m pretty sure I could guess-” He froze as he felt a pressure on his eye sockets.

“Try it and you’ll need a seeing eye dog.”

Sighing, Silver Fang closed his eyes.  “Alright, alright,” he allowed, relaxing as the pressure ceased.  Besides, he’d already narrowed it down to two individuals. Of Tatsumaki’s normal social circle - S Class Heroes, her sister, and Saitama - there were only four who weren’t objectively terrified of her power.  Of those four, one was her sister, one - the number one Hero Blast - didn’t socialize, one she was constantly at odds with, and the last she had only one  _ official _ interaction with.  It was easy enough to narrow it down to those last two, and he knew Saitama’s tastes were...bigger, as it were.  “Now, I  _ will _ be asking a few questions about how he interacts with you,” he continued.  “I need to know how he reacts so I know what to focus on with my advice.”

Tatsumaki ground her teeth.  “...fine…but not too many questions.”

“I think I can limit it to three or four,” he allowed thoughtfully.  “First, has he shown signs of physical attraction to you?” Seeing her eyes light up again, he raised his hand.  “Specific signs. Like specific things about you he’s complimented.”

The glow faded and, to Silver Fang’s surprise, Tatsumaki began twiddling her fingers.  “Well...he’s called me beautiful...said I took his breath away...complimented me on a few of the outfits I’ve worn…”

“The cute and spunky look?” Silver Fang pressed.  When that got a nod in response, he ‘hmphed’ in thought.  “Has he reacted to you physically?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tatsumaki snapped.

“I’m assuming the two of you have at least held hands or hugged,” Silver Fang clarified.  “I’m trying to determine his physical awareness of you in regards to your femininity.”

“...oh…”  She glanced away.  “Well, he’s...careful about not doing anything...inappropriate.  But he doesn’t...react much.” Her eyes lowered. “Not even when I’m wriggling in his lap…”

Silver Fang struggled not to raise his eyebrow.  As far as he was concerned, that was confirmation as far as  _ who _ the guy in question was...and he was pretty certain what advice he should give now.  “Alright, I can say with...70% accuracy what approach you should take if you want him to see you in a new way.”

Tatsumaki glanced at him for a time.  “Well, that’s better than what I was working towards before now…”

“The problem is you’re trying too hard to be sexy.  You should stop trying that.”

Tatsumaki looked at Silver Fang like he was crazy...which aside from her being silent for the moment, wasn’t that different from how she normally looked at him.  “...what?”

“As you said, he responds well to you going for cute and spunky with him,” Silver Fang explained as he got to his feet.  He posed himself carefully, giving off a playful and almost innocent demeanor. “That doesn’t really work well with  _ sexy _ .”  He shifted position into an almost glamour pose, arching his back and running his hand through his hair with his other at his hip.  “If you want to build off cute and spunky, you should go for tempting…” He shifted back to the playfully innocent demeanor, throwing a wiggle of his hips and a playful wink.  “Alluring…” He ran his hands playfully over his torso. “Tantalizing…” He crossed his arms playfully and fluttered his eyelashes. “Be the forbidden fruit just  _ daring _ him to reach out and...pluck.”  As he spoke, he shifted to almost crawl along the roof, licking his lips playfully at ‘pluck’.

He struggled to suppress a grin as he saw the blush starting to spread on Tatsumaki’s cheeks.  “I...see…” she began carefully. “But-” She was distracted by a sudden ding. “One moment.”

Silver Fang pulled back as he watched Tatsumaki pull out a digital assistant, having also recognized the sound of the HA’s chat program.  He carefully watched the play of emotions on her face as she chatted. It shifted from happy to playful, then turned to worried, then relaxed, then back to playful...then a little mischeivous.  Then her expression turned pensive for a while before lighting up, a slow smile crossing her face. Then her expression became panicked, before turning to mischievous...and then her entire face bloomed like a tomato.

“S-so,” Tatsumaki spoke up carefully.  “I...d-don’t suppose you have  _ practical _ -”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing, but be a bit more free with touching him where he shows bare skin,” Silver Fang explained calmly.  “An affectionate caress to his cheek, pulling his hand close against you, burrowing against him...and for when you’re ready to actually seduce him, get a translucent body stocking in a color he likes that looks good on you, bunched at wrists and ankles with a thin zipper down the front to just below your bust line with folds over your nethers that can be shifted aside and a slit just above your rear.  It’ll hide everything, give the impression of full exposure, and give easy access to everywhere once you get him wanting to explore.”

Tatsumaki blinked in surprise.  “Uh...right…well…”

“I’ve got a catalogue you can borrow to place the order, full confidentiality preserved at all points.”  Reaching under his cooler, he pulled the magazine out.

“Right.”  Taking the magazine in her aura, Tatsumaki quickly zipped off.

Chuckling to himself, Silver Fang lay back down.  The fallout from this was going to be fun to watch...from a safe distance.  He hoped Luigi appreciated his efforts.


End file.
